Its Dad, Kath whispered, wiping her arthritic hands with more than usual agitation on her flour-smattered apron. He took the tractor out to Hill Paddock early this morning and hes not back. Somethings wrong. Youll have to go up there Ted.
Old Kath didnt notice the grease all over Teds jeans, nor the hard glint in his eye, as Amanda did. Kath was just glad her Ted was home at last to help, as she and Dad had told everyone in the district. Amanda, frozen with prescient tension, noticed it was a bloody beautiful day outside the old house as usualsun shining, cattle lowing, insects screeching.
Ted slowly drew a hand through his thick mane of greying hair, and with his other sweaty arm almost crushing his mothers shoulders, tried to reassure her, Ill zip up there in the four-wheel drive, Mum. Bet hes just been havin a snooze. Geez, hes eighty-one after all. Ill be back in an hour. Why dont you and Amanda start getting tea ready.
Amanda had been on edge all day since Ted emerged from the machinery shed. Just fixing the tractor, hed called to her, Dads taking it up to Hill Paddock to widen the dam.
Arent you going with him? shed asked.
No, hed replied. Mum wants me to prune fruit trees and fix up the chook pen. Shes far too old now to do all this stuff. Its crazy the way they hang on here!
While Kath put stew on the stove and finished whipping up a puddingmoving in old familiar patterns which gave shape to her eighty yearsAmanda returned to scrubbing at the mould on the tiles, in the fridge, at the far reaches of the lino floor, in a valiant attempt to clean up the old ladys domain.
* * *
Was it only two years since Ted had leapt from that red Audi, beamed his familiar white-toothed smile and laughed, Honey, Im home!?
Thirty years hed been in the States. Shed been armed against his charms when they were young, but now, well, here he was, both of them divorced, her three children off in other cities, his two in Europe. Shed said, Theres a fantastic restaurant by the lake. All the politicians go there. Lets make a night of it. And later shed added Are you sleeping in the spare room or in my bed?
Shed called in sick from work and they drove in the red Audi to Melbourne, where he had business and she moved her youngest out of smelly student digs into a new apartment. They had indulged themselves in nostalgia and sex. They stayed for days in a green valley, wine-tasting at the end of every quiet dirt road.
Remember .Remember that time at uni when we hitch-hiked up to Queensland? Gawd, Id never let my kids do that today! Yes, she remembered being terrified to find herself in a car on a dark winding road at night, with a drunk who had a stash of bottles in the back seat, and a criminal record most probably. Todays crims, she reflected, are not much different from yesterdays, really.
Family is all that matters. He prattled on while the road unwound inexorably under them. Tell you what, lets get married, we should be together you and me. Mum and Dads place is a great place to live. When Dad dies, Ill inherit it, fix it up a bit, and then well have a place for the kids to visit. Well draw up an agreement of courseIll write you in for a third. Youve brought your kids up alone, done without for yearsyou deserve this!
And it was another year until it occurred to Amanda to ask, But hasnt your sister been running the place? Doesnt she inherit something? Theyd taken another long road trip, this time to the family cattle property. Shes been housed in this mouldy place for years, just like the aboriginal stockmen were years ago. Shes worked the mustering camps, the fences, the dams. Doesnt she get something for all that? Amanda could feel fury taking hold. No, all Teds sister got was a few cattle and a payout so she could buy herself a little house in town.
Look, you might think a patriarchal system is old and dated, but I tell you thats whats driving the rest of the world! You think theres gunna be much individual freedom, or rights for women, in the Middle East, huh?not bloody likely. All that freedom we had when we were young, thats not going to work for our kids. We need to think more in terms of Family with a capital F now! Amanda had already noticed that when she ignored north Queensland custom by addressing Teds father as Frank rather than Dad, the family seemed to draw its collective breath and glare at her.
* * *
She sees through the kitchen window the Toyota as it scrunches onto the homestead driveway. Ted looks straight ahead. His fathers body is slumped in the back seat. Kath screams, rushes out, folds hysterically on the verandah. Amanda moves warily from the house. Is that glint in Teds eye, that turn of his mouth, is that griefor something else?
He ambles over to Amanda. I fixed the brakes on the tractor this morning. Dont know how this couldve happened He puts his arm around her, then bends to his mother. Dad always wanted to die in the saddle. Mum, its okay. Well look after you. Youve been in this house most of your life. Well look after you now. Thats right, were here.
Amanda turns back to the house. She can still smell the ammonia on her hands.