1001 Nights Cast

I never thought I’d meet her face to face, but she came to the door, upset because some other writer had cut off her head. She was carrying it under her arm.

Camelia! My character in trouble. And she’d lost Eric.

‘Come in!’

She sat on the couch with her head in her lap. I made tea. It was passing strange to see her feed her head, like a baby, with biscuits. I hadn’t a clue what to do, so I read to her from a manuscript I was preparing: City of Pantoum, a travel diary. I started with unfinished poem No 10:

Therefore look, so spake my guide. At six-eyes he
Who also betrayed him. 43. And he came and found them
Witness that Judas Iscariot was one
Who wept: the tears: 50 Adown three chins distilled

Who also betrayed him. 43. And he came and found them
Eyes of ruby bullet with butterfly wings, gish.
He wept: the tears: 50 Adown three chins distilled
Through these eyes. Looks like I’m home tonight Sylvie.

‘STOP!’

She had a headache. No comments or questions. She wanted to lie down. I made up the couch and she dozed off. I started to panic. What say she wouldn’t leave? What say I had to live with a headless Camelia forever?

I needed some expert advice. In the phone book I found the number for AAA Quick Repairs, with pensioner discounts and a 12 month guarantee. I rang and listened to Iscariot Lyrics for 20 minutes. ‘Hullo, how can we help you?’

‘Well I’m a writer and I’ve got a character in trouble, she’s had her head cut off and is very anxious about her best friend and occasional lover Erica. She can’t look for her till her head is back on. Can you come straight away?’

Well AAA were good. I can recommend them. They took one look at Camelia, still sleeping with her head at her feet like a cat and got out this sort of Claes Oldenburgish soft sewing machine from a metal box. Then they waved this magic chopstick over her—for an anaesthetic I suppose—and lifted her head gently, gently, and placed it where it ought to be and applied the sewing machine like a scarf or fur or neck-brace for a few minutes. It made a sonic whirr. When they took it away she had a necklace of tiny blue spots.

‘Oh thank you so much’, said I to AAA. ‘How much do I owe you?’

I think I paid 90 dollars. Less 15 per cent.

The quick repair people left and Camelia woke up. ‘Writer!’ she exclaimed, ‘you have healed me.’ I nearly cried to see the joy on her face.

Load with pain, The Eye of Heaven, like a lanthorn’s eye
Witness that Judas Iscariot was one
Who entered Contact at six eyes face to face

There’s no quick repair for what goes on in my head.

Adapted for performance by Barbara Campbell from a story by Loma Bridge with thanks to Leevi Lehto.