1001 Nights Cast

The Suez canal, that mighty stream
A man-made water-way!—the dream
of emperors and tsars and kings
and mighty sheiks (and underlings)
was not a simple digging job.
From coast to coast and over aeons
the work would start, the work would stop
and complicated plans were scrapped
as unions squabbled, slaves were sacked
or foreign powers met and signed
in triplicate the forms that put this mammoth job on ice
—that put the Suez on the shelf
not once, not even twice, but thrice.

You’ll agree it’s not a bad idea
to cut the road from there to here
and make the journey less banal.
For this we needed: A Canal!

The idea of an aqua trench
first reared its head
(we smelled the stench)
’round eighteen hundred-odd BC
when Pharoah Senuset the Three
dug ’tween Red Sea and the Nile
a ditch that lasted for a while.

And so by navigating right
and turning left into the white
bit of the tribut’ree,
a buccaneer could steer his junk
from Spain or France or Italy
and end up quite efficiently
upon the other side, you see.

However, as is oft the case
the maintenance was not pursued,
the trench not dredged, rent overdue.
First ship, then boat and then canoe
could not get past, could not get through.
And by the time of Rome you know
the stream was just a memory.

Now kids—according to my version
the next attempt was by a Persian
a chap called Darius the One –
around 500 he begun
repairs that were well-funded
by gold and silver he had plundered
from all across his vast empire
his reconstruction meant entire
fleets of tugs and boats of rubber
could get from one side to the other
in four days flat or even flatter
T’was I heard—quite the regatta.

But as we learn from history
the plans of mice and men, and me
are laid aside, are sunk at sea
and fade away as entropy
sets in, not even Ptolemy
could stop decay,
and our canal did fade away.

Fast forward, now, two thousand years
Napoleon, to mighty cheers
declared a Suez all anew
commissioned engineers who drew
up maps and surveys, techy charts
the sort you need before you start.
But all his learned men did say,
Napoleon, you must now stop
The waters of the south did not
match up—they were too tall.
And so—alas—the project stalls.
The emperor, though, gives it the gong
although we now know he was wrong.

More recent trials to dig it moved
along more smoothly, much improved
by modern ways of shifting soil
and plumbing depths by burning oil.
This time—round 1855
the dream was once again revived
by Monsieur Ferdinand Lesseps.
The way he did it, step-by-step
was first to float a corporation
(investments flowed from ev’ry nation)
and through combin-ed expertise
was born the Su-ez Company.

One great Egypt tradition paved
the way for cheap construction—saved
a ton of cash
(we’re talking slaves).

But forced employment soon got banned
and wages grew,
the project spanned
eleven years, it cost a bomb
and Lesseps soon felt that he was wrong
to have begun with so much trouble
(his budget bloomed to almost double).

Yet finally by ’69 the job was shut,
the tools were downed,
the ribbon cut.
The trading route
was opened up!
And Africa—the southern bit
was waiting for the Euro ships
to sail right in
and conquer it.

Now here the tale gets more complex
the players multiple and vexed.
There’s Britain, France, United States,
Egypt and its many mates
and even little Israel
(we know that story’s hard to tell)…
one might step in, another ousting.
Let’s say it simply, on one hand
that this bit of contested land
(and water) was altogether too damned hot
(those trade routes sure are worth a lot!)
So war, and soldiers-rank-and-file
descended on the sorry Nile.
This once-proud colony of Isis,
embroiled within the Suez Crisis.

From 19 hundred and 56
the Suez floundered, flopped and flipped
sometimes it opened, sometimes closed.
Events conspired to cut the flow
of water, boats and thus of trade.
Would once again the toil of spade
and shovel, pick, pneumatic tools
be foiled by humans, bloody fools?

As luck would have it (more or less)
the push of economic ‘need’
was just too strong, and hungry greed
for global swap of currency
rode roughshod over—nicely hobbling
that internationalistic squabbling.

Thus since the middle seventies
the proud Suez is off its knees
no longer stuck in darkened age
it’s off the shelf, it’s turned the page.
Our ships can travel all okay.
They get across within a day!
By now there is no problem see,
the flows of capital are free
to ride untramelled ’cross the sands
and link up cash from many lands.