Story for performance #65
webcast from Paris at 08:51PM, 24 Aug 05

a flash of light
Source: Charlotte Higgins, ‘The key to peace’, The Guardian online, 24/08/05
Tags: war, dystopia
Writer/s: Deb McBride

Winding, bending, circling, the road seems endless. We move past various assortments of native trees all clumped together in roadside lots, standing tall in defiance of the waves of carbon dioxide spewing onto their gentle green leaves. We see tidy homes locked up against the invading rebels, the windows bearing pretty little curtains but the broken glass betraying the secret fear that lies indoors. Washing left hanging on clothes lines, children’s toys stranded on front lawns, cars started but not driven. The scenery was all the same. On and on we drove. The night time is upon us now. We stop to pour the last of our petrol into the tank. It is only a matter of time now. We think of resting but it is too dangerous and so we continue the drive.

Sandy sits in the back with her cheron re-charger plugged in. She is following the webcast of today’s fighting. I have programmed her cheron to receive updates of the rebel movements, to facilitate a faster path for us. Sandy’s family is part of the old world and had a big share of exchangeable monies. That privileged life has left her with an extensive knowledge of the serzes’ community, a knowledge that the rebels require and she is happy to share.

I am working for the rebels. They use me for my skills in the practical side of life. I bring with me this car, my driving skills, an extensive warfare knowledge, an inbuilt road map of the area and a superior ability to combat three or four serzes at a time. I can pinpoint exactly where their bylink is kept on their bodies and once the bylink is disengaged the serz has no power.

This second rebellion has been going on for over three years now and if we cannot reach the rebel camp on this remaining tank of petrol we will probably be overtaken by the army of serzes active in this area and not live another day.

It is with that knowledge that I view the scenery. Knowing my death may be impending leaves me feeling a sort of freedom. It has been a long life of fighting and struggle. I am tired and can find no comfort in any external activities or pleasures. My mother once said that it was important to have a little religion in your life but it is because of religion and spiritual activism that we are in a war: a war where I have lost all my loved ones. This has left me, up till now, with little time for religion or spiritual pursuits. I envy the rebels, their devotion and their ability to steadily and consistently gain a spiritual superiority over their enemies. They have spent years studying the livingness that has given their bodies the freedom to fight the serzes, I try to imagine what it would be like to have that sort of skill and devotion, I am a pleasure-seeking human who has no bonds, it is a fluke, not due to personal application, that I have skills over and above the serzes.

It happened one day when I was resting in a park. Hedonism guided all my actions back then and so I often rested in the sun. A child came by, a rebel, and lent over my prostrate body. He looked long into my eyes and said nothing. Suddenly a flash of light struck me, it came from his body and when I recovered from the temporary blinding state it left me in, I saw that he had gone. At first I didn’t notice any difference in me then one day I was stopped at a border zone by a group of serzes and they began to torment me. Usually I would talk my way out of this situation but this day I found myself fighting back and with an amazing ability to know what they would do before they did it. This allowed me to fight all four of the serzes and when they lay unconscious I realised I could see into their bodies and detect their bylinks. From there it is easy to cut the bylink out and leave the serz ‘dead’. Once I realised I could do this, my whole reason-for-being changed and I entered the war as an aide to the rebel forces.

The night has fully descended now and in the darkness with a black road weaving in front of me I have decided that taking Sandy to the rebel camp tonight would be my last mission for the war. I am old and tired and I want to stop the struggle. The desire for peace inside myself is stretching out and I can no longer feel either thirst for revenge or happiness. I realise I am content to seek the livingness of the rebels and to live out my days peacefully with them. Strangely I am not surprised, I feel nothing inside only a certainty that I will reach my goal. As I watch the passing scenery: the native trees still standing after all this time; the homes of dead serzes and fleeing rebels, I realise I have found the key to peace and that it was within me all the time.

Adapted for performance by Barbara Campbell from a story by Deb McBride.